Who are yours? Went out local for a few last Friday night with the wife and a bloke came in dressed like Jack Sparrow from the pirates of the Caribbean films,full outfit,eye make up and he drank dark rum. Didn't think much of it really and thought he was on his way to a fancy dress thing,turns out he dresses like that regularly Next pub on and a bloke turned up in his slippers
The first one that springs to mind was a character called Bunk Eye, he's long gone but he was a legend in these parts. He were called Bunk Eye because he were so bunk eyed he could see around corners. His skin looked like a shrivelled prune and the kids used to run away from him he were that ugly! and he resided in the local scrap yard. He only had one pair of shoes and when he went out he used to spray them gloss black. Bunk Eye had little money, but he would come in our boozer every Sunday afternoon and the lads would buy his beer, usually finishing up with him getting absolutely cabbaged and getting his ticket! 6 pints and he'd become loud and aggressive he'd want to fuck or fight anyone. Seen the gaffer bar him one day and as Bunk Eye is leaning up the bar telling him "It won't happen again" he's actually got his prick out pissing up the bar! A drinking partner of his was Owd George, a lot like Danny DeVito, only shorter, he had an old pair of platform shoes he wore to make him look taller, he couldn't walk in them sober let alone when he were pissed. Right dirty fucker, always had a fake in his gob and had a habit of shitting his pants when he were pissed!
Got one called Alan round our way...he dresses as a football ref (all the time) he's barred from town now for stopping busses and generally been a nusence... He's been knocking about sheffield for as long as I remember...he used to wear some great football strips in years gone by but now favours the refs uniform....he came in the local a couple of years ago and gave me a straight red!!
OFF HAND
Print view
Thu Sep 25, 2014 2:51 am
Next pub on and a bloke turned up in his slippers 
reply
Happy Birthday wadey!
