few year back i got talking to two birds in a bar where i lived ATT bit flirting and aranged to meet them at last orders. when i got there had a few drinks and asked them back to mine they said there had already booked a taxi and invited me along. taxi turns up we get in and they ask the driver to go to some local woods when we get there one gets out a drags the driver with her the other climbs on top of me and starts shagging shes shouting fuck is fuck is fuck is but at the same time spitting on is.. after a few minutes i can see the driver out the window humping the other one against a tree am getting sick of being spat on so i ask if i can shag her mate she says yes so out i pop and tell the driver they want to swap now before she lets me she says av got something to show you and drags me round the woods looking for a suitcase thats full of sex toys she ends up falling down a hill into some bushes i get her and take her back to the car the drivers humping in the back so am at it with her on the boot lid he jumps out and says not on ther mate its me dads car so we both finish drop the two birds off and he takes me home on the way i pull him and ask if he knew them he didnt they were strange ones funny thing is about 5 year back i bumped into one at newcastle airport she was selling credit cards i went over and had a bit crack she was embarrassed but good as gold she asked me not to say out to my mates untill we were on the flight and even came in the bar when we were all there well thats one of mine.......gents
Strangest sex I've had was at a weekender down in Prestatyn a few years ago with an ex. I was in a batman costume she was batgirl and we were loaded with ket, safe to say it was fucking pointless as were both totally numb!
Quote by 1985casualStrangest sex I've had was at a weekender down in Prestatyn a few years ago with an ex. I was in a batman costume she was batgirl and we were loaded with ket, safe to say it was fucking pointless as were both totally numb!
never been a one for dressing up closest av done is a blacked out face and hands after a away day dressed as shaft
Quote by 1985casualStrangest sex I've had was at a weekender down in Prestatyn a few years ago with an ex. I was in a batman costume she was batgirl and we were loaded with ket, safe to say it was fucking pointless as were both totally numb!
never been a one for dressing up closest av done is a blacked out face and hands after a away day dressed as shaft
It was the first night which was a superhero theme, it was a bit of a mental period so I was game for anything
While at university I was minding my own business in a club (Corporation), smashing vodka's down my throat, and got approached by quite a tasty goth bird. After a bit of a chat we headed back to hers for some action.
Got up to her room and rolled about for abit and managed about 3/4 inney outee's with my flaccid wedge before rolling off the bed and cracking my head on her bedside table and knocking myself out.
Jumped up in a daze and ran down the stairs for a sharp exit due to my poor performance.
What I did not realise is that all her housemates were having a get together in the living room downstairs and I flew through the door with jeans and pants still around my ankles.
Lets just say I fired some abuse at them and scarpered after having a bit of a altercation with a goth lad.
Quote by redmondnever been a one for dressing up closest av done is a blacked out face and hands after a away day dressed as shaft
Im kind of the same S, but did have a great night once on Halloween with my ex I remember saying to her all night at the party, 'Im going to smash you all night you horny (literally) bitch...'
Thinking about it, she did/does have a superb rack.
Many many years ago 24 to be exact, walking out of town on a friday night to phone a taxi,about 2 in morning, a sky blue mark 2 escort pulled up,ginger bird, said hi chris,do you want a lift home,in I jump,just out of town she ask do you want to shag me,rude not to I thought,where I said,i know was her reply,ended up in some wood on a lane,where she got out the car got back in with nothing but cowboy boots,was a long time ago,pulled me jeans down which I remember was think pink,rode me silly,then got dressed and drove me home,to this day I dont know who the fuck she was and the girl new where I lived
Quote by redmondnever been a one for dressing up closest av done is a blacked out face and hands after a away day dressed as shaft
Im kind of the same S, but did have a great night once on Halloween with my ex I remember saying to her all night at the party, 'Im going to smash you all night you horny (literally) bitch...'
Thinking about it, she did/does have a superb rack.
Quote by redmondfew year back i got talking to two birds in a bar where i lived ATT bit flirting and aranged to meet them at last orders. when i got there had a few drinks and asked them back to mine they said there had already booked a taxi and invited me along. taxi turns up we get in and they ask the driver to go to some local woods when we get there one gets out a drags the driver with her the other climbs on top of me and starts shagging shes shouting fuck is fuck is fuck is but at the same time spitting on is.. after a few minutes i can see the driver out the window humping the other one against a tree am getting sick of being spat on so i ask if i can shag her mate she says yes so out i pop and tell the driver they want to swap now before she lets me she says av got something to show you and drags me round the woods looking for a suitcase thats full of sex toys she ends up falling down a hill into some bushes i get her and take her back to the car the drivers humping in the back so am at it with her on the boot lid he jumps out and says not on ther mate its me dads car so we both finish drop the two birds off and he takes me home on the way i pull him and ask if he knew them he didnt they were strange ones funny thing is about 5 year back i bumped into one at newcastle airport she was selling credit cards i went over and had a bit crack she was embarrassed but good as gold she asked me not to say out to my mates untill we were on the flight and even came in the bar when we were all there well thats one of mine.......gents
A wench who used to go out with my uncle for a few years was sat in a bar I used to drink in, I went over on my own just for a chat and when I asked her where her mates were she replied she was on her own as she was feeling a bit fruity and was out for picking a fella up, within a pint we were in her car in agreement she dropped me back to the lads after but it was on her term's, happy days I thought all good and she drove to a block of apartments where my uncle lived and asked me to fuck her on the bonnet of his car park, I obliged and she thought she had one up on my uncle (who's a bit of a boy as well). I kept her pants and told my uncle the next day who laughed his head off, was only 17 at the time.
When I met my now wife and we were starting out I was pretty lairy at the time and into all sorts but at the time big into internet dating and swinging, I used to upload my profile and swan off as much as I could on the train countrywide and have a dabble, bored wives couples singles whatever, I used different usernames so as to not get twinned on different boards, and on the one Costa Del Swing I used a name I used quite regular as Hoolio Turtle (which I had on an old st georges flag from touring away-just a laugh really), my mrs unearthed my flag once and little did I know she was a bit insecure and a bit clued up, she rung me one day and started out being nice then question's started thick and fast "how many birds you been with" "am I only seeing her" "where are we going" and the like, I said stop being daft and she then reeled off various fetishes and things I was "into" on my profile, she had googled Hoolio Turtle to see what cropped up and there I was larger than life on Costa Del Swing, I denied it furiously until she reeled off the last comment from me on there and read it out to me "6' 3 male from tipton happy to travel into swinging dogging wife filming etc etc" But we did get through it all.
A girl I was messing around with up West Brom a good while back we used to meet up after work and just play around really, she was filth and wanted to play out various themes (her favourite was rape which was odd at times, odd but quality) and she said to me the one day do I ever wonder what she's like with other men ? I said not really I've never thought of it, she said would I mind trying something new, yeah go on then, she explained how she wanted me to watch her fuck another guy but him not know, so a week odd later I went over and had a drink and that and waited for her text she was on the way, so I hid in the sliding wardrobe and watched her walk in the room with this guy and fuck him on a stool, when he finished she literally told him to fuck off and on his exit she was rampant, absolutely ruined me, great girl, ended up swinging with her as a couple but she lost the plot in the end and went a bit mental, bumped into her after an Albion game 2 years back she was with her girlfriend holding hands, turned into a dyke.
Didn't happen to me, it happened to a buddy (really, I would brag about this if it were me)
BUT myself and a few friends ended up at a keg party hosted by the University of Guelph rugby team, drank ourselves blind, and on going back to our buddy's house with whome we were staying the girl he was seeing apparently still wanted him to perform, even though he was greeeeeeeeeeeeen from the beer. So they start making out and everything is cool, he thinks he can make it, then he starts going down on her, has to dash to the bathroom to barf, and he pukes his guts out and figures he's done for the night. He goes back in to go back to bed and she makes him finish, puke breath and all!
Worst that ever happened to me is that my ex is a biter. Not biting ye olde junk, but biting me when I was, shall we say, inserted. She'd bite my neck, shoulders, chest and it wasn't erotic, despite the fact that she's about 120 lbs it was scary- she got this look in her eye like a rabid hyena.....
Few weeks ago after I heavy night out I ended up ball deep in a lass I'd been with a few times before and shouted my mates name at the top of my lungs.
I then fell asleep with my jeans and boxers at my ankles and she went to bed.
Quote by Wardle71Many many years ago 24 to be exact, walking out of town on a friday night to phone a taxi,about 2 in morning, a sky blue mark 2 escort pulled up,ginger bird, said hi chris,do you want a lift home,in I jump,just out of town she ask do you want to shag me,rude not to I thought,where I said,i know was her reply,ended up in some wood on a lane,where she got out the car got back in with nothing but cowboy boots,was a long time ago,pulled me jeans down which I remember was think pink,rode me silly,then got dressed and drove me home,to this day I dont know who the fuck she was and the girl new where I lived
A couple of lads I know used to share a flat , these boys had no morals at all, one of them started shagging a local scrubber one night he told his pal to hide in the wardrobe, they started to get down to it on the bed with the lad in hiding with his cock in his hand , he glanced down to see this birds knickers on the floor with a shit stain in them , he burst out laughing , the bird went mental throwing things went into the kitchen got a knife chasing them around the flat whilst they are pissing themselves.
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Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:09 pm
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I remember saying to her all night at the party, 'Im going to smash you all night you horny (literally) bitch...'
